This past weekend, I curled up in my favorite chair with a cup of tea and turned on the Golden Globes Red Carpet. I had the best evening live tweeting the event for our sister site, The Refined Side. I shared my favorite gowns of the evening and enjoyed chatting with fellow bloggers and tweeters who were also watching.
It was fun, upbeat, positive – a lovely way to spend a Sunday night!
So, what does this have to do with Kate? The Duchess of Cambridge has three events coming up in the next week, and we can expect three possibly new outfits. I would love to say that I expect a positive response – yay, new outfits! events! hair! Kate! – but in my experiences over the last few months, royal watchers have become increasingly negative and critical on social media.
At nearly every event over the past few months, I have noticed a storm of Facebook comments, tweets, Instagrams, and Tumblr posts being unnecessarily critical of Kate’s outfit. If it wasn’t her outfit, it was her hair. If it wasn’t her hair, it was her weight/shoes/make-up/jewelry/heel height/hem length. The Royal Fashion Police manage to criticize the most minute details. If the Duchess of Cambridge read these messages, she would undoubtedly be hurt by them.
Of course, there are positive comments – both with praise and critiques. However, I have become overwhelmed and discouraged by the negative. How can we – as women – say we want to be supportive of other women, put an end to bullying behaviors, and lift each other up when we are catty and rude to our role model? We are disrespecting the very woman we look up to every day.
If we ask ourselves, “what would Kate do?”, I can confidently tell you that publicly criticizing someone’s appearance is not it. What would Kate do when she saw a celebrity or friend in a new outfit? Focus on the positive, and leave the negativity out of the conversation.
The Duchess of Cambridge looks amazing every time she leaves the house. She is a beautiful, confident woman who radiates happiness and positivity. Perhaps we should take a note from Roald Dahl who says “If you have good thoughts, they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.” Lets stay positive, upbeat, and fun, so we can always look lovely, too.
As a society we focus on academic education, but we completely forget moral and social education [ such as etiquette and savoir vivre/faire]. So, we ended up with an academically educated society that has absolutely no room for manners and courtesy. People believe they have the RIGHT to judge and tell their opinion but, being mannerless, they do not know that they are expected to do so in a nice way. With the rights come the obligations. Things are this tough in the “real world”….or should I say ” the world outside the internet”. You can now imagine what happens on the internet, where people can tell opinions anonymously, with no shame [they are not talking to someone face to face, right?] and no fear [ no consequences! ]. The only thing we can do is educate ourselves and our children and make sure we let people know that such behavior is not acceptable.
Now, Kate can do nothing but keep on doing what she likes and what she wants. No matter what she does, there will always be somebody who will judge her in the most negative way. She has to accept it and move on. I, like Kate, was born in 1982. We are both at an age where we are neither little girls, nor old. So,we have to create a style that goes with our age and -let me tell you- that is tough. She certainly succeeds!!!! She is good at it. I am a big fan of her style.
[ English is not my mother language. If I made a mistake, you are allowed to laugh. But please correct me. Nicely…hahaha! ]
I LOVE THIS! Yes, many people have an academic education but lack a social education! Your insights are spot on – as is your English!
Here, here! I am so glad to read this. I agree with EVERYTHING you’ve just said! Let’s hope for a kinder, gentler new year. Kate is beautiful!
Leesa McClelland says
It sounds like so many read all the extra comments be it positive or downright harsh and critical. Why read them in the first place? I really try to filter everything from comments regarding her or other celebrities etc. If the Kate criticism gets to a person they should avoid it. It might be okay to state a neg opinion in a professional manner but if not the best way to deal with it is ignore it and never give audience to it.
Lulu In The Palace says
Before I post anything, I ask myself, “How would it make her feel if she read it?” That is a good rule of thumb. xo
Thank you for a wonderful piece, as well as an elegant discussion on the issue. I agree that we ought to constantly remind ourselves of the old saying, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.” As Christina J. says (above), saying something like “Kate’s dress is ugly,” or “stupid” or whatever is very different than remarking that the dress wasn’t your favorite. We can all do our part to make the world a kinder, friendlier place!
Thank you SO much for your kind words! YES!!! There is a HUGE difference between “This outfit wasn’t my favorite” and “this outfit makes her look awful and frumpy.” If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it on Twitter! 😉
Don’t get me wrong, I’m a huge fan if Kate’s and I could look at photographs of her all day! However, there most certainly are times when I feel she could dress more appropriately for her age and fly the flag for British fashion on an “edgier” level.
While I’m not in favour of harsh criticism or those who criticise merely for the sake of it, I think it is unfair of you to call for solely positive comments – especially in a week where we have seen freedom of speech massively challenged!
Hi Jo! Of course we would never want to interfere with freedom of speech – that would be unfair! My main point was to address the hurtful comments and constant negativity. Even yesterday, I saw more comments on Kate’s appearance looking “awful and tired” than addressing how cute her coat was. Personally, I believe in breathing positivity into the world as often as possible. I also believe that, if we are asking ourselves “what would Kate do?”, she would never publicly gossip, criticize, or talk badly about someone – especially not their role model!
Christina J. says
I completely understand where you are coming from, and I agree that it is not realistic to expect everyone to always like the way Kate dresses, or wears her hair, or whatever it might be. However, I don’t think that this is the goal or point of this article. The issue is the public forum in which the negativity is displayed. We are all human, and have varying opinions of both positive and negative nature, and I am sure even Kate has gossiped with her friends, but to do so publicly isn’t classy, and it is mean-spirited. I think it also comes down to how the feelings are expressed. For example, saying “Kate’s dress is ugly” is far different from saying “Kate’s dress wasn’t my favorite today, but she looks great as always!” So again, I believe the point of the article is not to stifle our freedom of speech, but to recognize that we can sometimes get carried away with the “share your every thought” mentality that our society has become, and to learn how to express our opinions in an eloquent and kind manner.
Beautifully said! The increasing unkind things I see on sites that celebrate Kate make me feel sad. Being positive and having good thoughts feels much better than tearing someone down.
Exactly! Sharing positivity and good thoughts ALWAYS makes me feel better. Even if I don’t love one of Kate’s dresses, I always love her shoes, or earrings, or hairstyle.