Gracefully Handling an Inherently Rude Society

The entitlement of our society has cultivated some of the rudest people we have ever seen. We encounter rudeness everywhere. It’s the person who knowingly cuts in line at a store. It’s the obnoxious driver who feels the roadway is a Nascar course. It’s the co-worker who sees you walking behind her and doesn’t bother to hold the door for you. It’s the person who flicks a cigarette butt out the car window (major pet peeve of mine!). It is a rare day, indeed, that goes by when I don’t encounter a person that makes me groan inwardly and wonder if I am only one of the few decent human beings still left.

I often find it difficult to quickly disregard situations like the above. I will stew over them, wondering why that person has to be so inconsiderate. How would they like it if someone cut in front of them in the store or while driving? Didn’t their parent(s) teach them not to litter? This, my friends, is where it is far too easy to fall into a societal trap. It can often feel vindicating to stoop to their level and give them a taste of their own inconsiderate actions. A kind of “if you can’t beat them, join them” mentality. However, the satisfaction is not lasting. The moment will be fleeting and then you’ll be left with a hollowness which tells you that you have compromised your authentic self. This is the Self that says you are better than that action and better than that inconsiderate person. So, how then, do we rise above when the temptation is so great?

We look to our Duchess Kate, of course! She certainly sets the precedent on how to handle insolent individuals. We know Kate certainly experiences impertinence in her own daily life. She is followed by the paparazzi, some of whom have crossed the line most definitely. I’m also sure some ignorant troll has managed to slip in a snide remark or two, certainly within earshot of her, in an effort to try to tempt her to respond unfavorably. Yet, we’ve never heard or seen Kate use vulgar language or obscene gestures. If we had some girl chat time with Kate (can you imagine?!), she would probably say that a rude person is not deserving of your time nor attention. Don’t give them the satisfaction; they thrive on picking a fight.

In addition to the above, I think Kate would further provide the below advice:

Count to TenDon’t jump into the moment and act with immediate emotion. This is an especially helpful suggestion when in a workplace environment. If you’re fired up over an email, wait a few hours before responding. Even better, whenever possible, pick up the phone and call the person instead, using your inner Duchess charm. Emails can often be interpreted horribly and the impression you receive might not have been the intention of the sender. Lastly, sometimes a look speaks more than words. I imagine the below image is the look that Kate might give a rude person – utterly unamused!

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Do Not Compromise Your ValuesRemind yourself why it is important to keep your invisible crown on your head. The most important person you don’t want to let down is yourself. Don’t fall to the tawdry level of the ignoramuses. I was recently at a dinner with some colleagues from work and some started gossiping about another colleague who was not present. One woman in the group spoke up and stated that she is friends with that person and does not feel comfortable with being included in a conversation that spawned ill comments behind the absent colleague’s back. I have the utmost respect for this colleague now! How often do we find it is easy to slip into workplace gossip? Avoid it, my friends. Avoid it at all costs. For you do not know who is listening and who will remember. You do not want to self-sabotage yourself in this way.

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Act in the Sense That Everyone is WatchingBecause they are. They may not know who you are but may very well remember a face. Being kind and polite will always be an investment that provides a return. That pleasant conversation you had with one of the janitorial staff members at work? One of the Vice Presidents noticed. The woman you helped to pick up her change she dropped at the store? The two of you strike up a conversation and she happens to be the hiring manager at the company of your dreams. While the paparazzi isn’t following you around, you should act as though they are. If your actions appeared on the front page of your local newspaper, how would you feel?

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Pick Your BattlesIt’s not expected that you will always be passive and never speak up against someone’s rudeness. While it’s likely better, and safer, to ignore road rage, you can politely speak your point on other matters. You should first weigh their worth and take into perspective the other person. Perhaps the co-worker who didn’t hold the door for you has had a horrible morning and truly did not realize you were there. Maybe the fellow shopper doesn’t realize where the line starts and needs a polite nudge. However, if you ever witness any sort of bullying, whether of an adult or child, it is your social responsibility to step in and speak up. It’s what Kate would do!

I leave you with this final thought: It may often feel as though we are fighting a losing battle against the majority of society. However, there is a reason you came to this website and are reading this article. You want to better yourself, and the world, by looking at Duchess Kate as an example and role model. I like to think of us as her ambassadors. We must lead by example with a sense of regal authority, kindness, and compassion. Those who are the receivers of kinds acts are more likely to pass along the kindness. Last, but not least, remember this funny little adage that rings so true: “Don’t wrestle with a pig. You’ll both get dirty but the pig will enjoy it.”

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